Archive for March, 2008
Shoot It All Over Me
March 20, 2008The Mark of Broadcast Excellence
March 7, 2008This is when the first tease of your four-hour show contains the following yummy morsel of wit:
“He battled thugs in Road House and now he’s battling cancer. The latest on Patrick Swayze, coming up.”
I couldn’t be that funny if I got my dick caught in a pickle jar for undisclosed reasons.
You just go ahead and make that college degree your indulgent bitch, Ms. Producer.
Cretin’s Bad Food Day
March 4, 2008Food poisoning. It’s an uncomfortable benefit to a lot of people because it’s a sure out for work, but I happen to like my job. Hopefully, it’ll be over when I wake up later tonight. I blame Conker the Squirrel.
The story is that every time I play through a game of Conker’s Bad Fur Day, I will shortly come down with some sort of foul, harsh illness. I’ve finished the game four times before and out of those, three of them have co-aligned with my immune system getting a curbie. You’d think I’d take the hint given and sell off my copy (because, hey, one runthrough ought to be enough, right?)… but this is Conker’s Bad Fur Day. Abandonment is not an acceptable notion ’round these parts.
You know, the advent of a domestically-adapted Asian horror flick used to get me really giddy but after the crap trifecta of The Ring 2, Pulse and glimpsing One Missed Call, coupled with the dawning realization that with but a few notable exceptions, anything foreign is going to be jumbled in transmission to the States. Blame it on atmospherics. The few omissions to this edict are the first The Ring – which introduced me to Asian horror – and the adapted Grudge flicks, which were handled by the original creator of those movies. The Ring was courtesy of Master Pirate Wrangler Gore Verbinski, who seriously cannot do any fucking wrong when you put a Panavision in front of him. You will go see Mousehunt.
Shutter is one of those examples of rare cinema alchemy where a congregation of seemingly unrelated influences can result in something totally watchable and slick (if a bit predictable) and despite that the American producers have saddled this albatross with someone who is more than experienced and capable of making it work, I don’t see this lightning striking again. Maybe I’ll be proven wrong. It’d be nice.
