“You’re not gonna stick around for your share?”

Surprisingly, the deft prestidigitation isn’t what carries the scene here.

It’s something else, something impalpable – gone forever with the guy who brought it to the table.

Squeal, Burn

I’ve had visions of anti-terrestrial apocalypses that were less grotesque than these. Holy jellyfinger.

When Will Now Be Then?

Soon.

Just downloaded the first Fallout from Ye Gooden Old Games website (love my beta!) and should be getting around to it sometime this week. I still have Banjo-Tooie to finish up and even though I just started playing Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories a few weeks ago (hurricane game, needed something to do at work), it’s been a laughably quick jaunt – minus the grinding jags, that is.

Okay, speaking of Banjo-Tooie.

For most people, the words ‘Stop ‘N’ Swop’ invoke little more than confusion as to, say, why the word ‘Swop’ is misspelled (it isn’t). For people that dug nothing more than to make Rareware’s coffers even fatter by purchasing their latest Mascot Epic, those words invoke feelings of hopelessness, despair, enmity and a desire to take a two-hour-long peek at the back of a gas kitchen oven.

I know that such a sentiment could simply written off as conventional fanboy ill-ration and kvetching (DIABLO III HAS TOO MANY COLORSSSSSS) but there’s the good news to temper that; Banjo-Kazooie is being offered as a download on XBLA with ‘Stop ‘N’ Swop’ being implemented to work in conjunction with future Xbox 360 release Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts. I assume that this will serve simply as glittery impetus for bonus content of some sort, sort of how my foot will be implemented to work in conjunction with Gregg Mayles’s ballbag to unlock Bonus Crotchpain should we ever encounter each other in a curiously empty warehouse by the docks sometime in the near future.

(*removes tongue from cheek)

But I’m no fanboy, no sirree, nuh-uh, complete denial. However, I am wondering how many new 360 owners are reading this and are ignoring the chance to play one of the best platformers in console history. No, I am not waving this knife around, I’m just… waiting patiently for some sausage to walk by. Yeh. Not crazy.