So what took them so long, exactly? Atlus has finally decided to localize and publish Steal Princess, one game that I have been personally following since late 2007… for reasons that may escape many, many people.
If there are any others out there who have also been keeping a steady eye on this, they did so doubtlessly because they were intrigued by the unusual amalgam of 3-D platforming action and spatial puzzle-solving, the massive breadth of content (over 150 levels), the ability to share and customize your own level designs and lastly, eye-patches. Though, even these intrepid few would probably find themselves loathe to be making this purchase in public as this shit be moe as fuck.
If so, too bad it never materialized. That would have been all of a guaranteed purchase in this household, regardless of the small library or the apparent lack of interest from third party publishers in bringing their properties over. Unfortunately, the best that an NGPC diehard could hope for at this point would be a possible compilation of those few great games on a newer handheld, recreated respectfully and accurately, mindless of potential overhead/profit conversion and making a quick, glitchy buck off of the corpse of fondly remembered franchises.
I suppose that, technically, such an action could be called a “Heart Punch” – which I thought was illegal.
For most Beat ‘Em Up fans, the genre seemed to end on a pretty impressive – if somewhat cataclysmic – note with the release of 2006’s God Hand, the final entry in the portfolio of the venerated Clover Studio (best known for creating Viewtiful Joe, another hallmark exploration into the science of smacking thugs around). Since then, we’ve had various detours into this mostly-abandoned realm. Maybe something open-ended like Dead Rising or possibly spliced with RPG conventions such as in The World Ends With You. Aside from those few diluted forays, however, there hasn’t been anything like the quarter munching, to-the-right-walking days in the arcades of yesteryear where haymakers got the job accomplished regardless of whether the opposing side was brandishing munitions from all limbs and orifices or not. Jump plus kick was how you thwarted an international incident as well as score yourself some free burgers. It was a simpler time.
Atlus has always been the niche-gamer’s best drinking buddy, but now it seems that someone over at their U.S. offices has been on a recent beatdown bender as their newly-announced title has nary a waifish youth nor a snarky, violent princess to be seen.
Instead we have cops, gritted teeth, a fist full of cheese and the promise of a glorious resurrection. Let’s just hope that Tokyo Beat Down doesn’t deal in broken promises – just broken kneecaps.
