Just some guy that’s about to be the unsuspecting recipient of a hearty “Fuck You”:
Maybe you should’ve gone with jams instead? Hammer pants? I mean, if I was a disenfranchised old fart, I’d probably go with either of those as the chosen metaphor for your blinkered social critique.
Chances are that you found this journal entry via stumbling haphazardly across a well-meaning tag. By extension, chances are good that you also know who Shigesato Itoi is. If you don’t, back your cursor up a few letters and mind the link.
This post, however, deals with one of Itoi’s forays into prosaic writing. This slickly irreverent excerpt is from a collection of WarioWare-portioned short stories that he had penned with famed Japanese novelist Haruki Murakami. Yeah, I don’t kow who that is, really.
Jinx
Having a black cat cross your path is nothing at all. After all, I own a black cat of my own.But bad things do happen on days I don’t win the Nobel Prize. For instance, when I inserted a 10-yen coin to make a phone call, I didn’t get my coin back even though the line was busy.
Days in which I lose a leg in a car accident are often quite unlucky, too. One time a hot dog fell right out of a bun I was holding.
Rainy days aren’t much better, either. One time an umbrella I had just bought got completely wet.
Unlucky things often happen when I’m mugged at night, too. Why, just the other day, I forgot to throw out the trash.
Bad things happen when I go into a classroom and see beautiful girls all sitting at their desks. In some cases, I’ve been so elated that I wet my pants.
Even so, the very worst is when you lose your life. The day it happened to me was the same day they announced the winning lottery numbers.
